Just Thinking out loud

After starting this blog I got to thinking, why am I not important in my own mind as to not take care of myself? Why wouldnt I want to feel my very best and be able to walk again and even run? I dont know the answers to these questions,they really shouldnt be hard for me to answer. I weigh 380 pounds and that is the highest weight I have ever been. I dont feel good, and I cant walk because of the weight,bad knees. I drink too much pop, and I seemed to be addicted to sugar. I know if I got off of that stuff I would probably be fine,but it sure is a hard thing to do, its not like you can just go cold turkey, I mean I tried before and did well for a year and then bamm I was back on it again.

I just need to figure out why I dont seem to think I am important enough to want to feel good. I am married, and that is one reason I should want to feel better, I dont know this is just thinking out loud for me tonight. Maybe tomorrow night I will be able to think about the answer to this question a little more.

Until Then Life is good